The Dream's Malfunction

[Armistice]

I never really know where a song's going to go and this one went all sorts of places. Stole the title from a line in a Joni Mitchell song for starters.

It's intended to be the last song on the album - hence it's long and it has a strange mellotron intro which is completely unrelated to the rest of the tune - because you probably wouldn't expect that. Meant to be a sort of "lighters in the air" people swaying and singing along tune, perhaps. It's also too big to fit on the attachment thing so it's a dropbox file.

I've listened to it way too much to be able to tell anything about the mix anymore, however, so your turn, if you have a spare six and a half minutes.

Over to you. Be gentle with me - there's a lot there to keep under control ...

The Dream's Malfunction

The Dream's Malfunction

Eight pounds and perfect, that’s what they said
Little pink toes, little pink head
I was the answer, I was the dream
I was the future, the prayer, and the scheme

And I want to be somebody’s hero
And I want to be weightless and free
I believe that it’s getting past clear
Oh that time has some other plans for me

Perfection’s a difficult thing to define
Some bloom and grow, some fall off the vine
Not every acorn becomes a great tree
And not every dancer is Terpsichore

And I want to be somebody’s hero
And I want to be weightless and free
I believe that it’s getting past clear
Oh that time has some other plans for me

If I can just keep breathing
If I can just keep breathing, yeah

Life is a muddle, sometimes a chore
Often a battle, sometimes a war
But occasionally sometimes it all falls in place
I don’t often win but I finish the race

And I want to be somebody’s hero
And I want to be weightless and free
I believe that it’s getting past clear
Oh that time has some other plans for me

If I can just keep breathing
If I can just keep breathing, yeah
If I can just keep breathing
If I can just keep breathing, yeah

SOLO

And I want to somebody’s lover
And I want to be quick and be strong
And I want to explore and discover
And I want for my life to be long
And I want to be somebody’s hero
And I want to be weightless and free
I believe that it’s getting past clear
Oh that time has some other plans for me

If I can just keep breathing
If I can just keep breathing, yeah
If I can just keep breathing
If I can just keep breathing, yeah
If I can just keep breathing
If I can just keep breathing, yeah
If I can just keep breathing
If I can just keep breathing, yeah

[JD01]

This is already good, mate. I think the drums are a touch quiet, don't mind the cymbals so much, but the kick and snare are taking too much of a backseat for me.

Guitar solo is really good and works with the song really well.

All the sounds you've got are good though mate, I think its just a case of tweaking a level here and there. There were occasional guitar parts that seemed a little loud or a little quiet - but really only minor things.

[Bubba]

Aha! Like the opening verse, you've finally given birth!

Firstly, I really like the song, but on first listen I think the balance of guitars is off to the rest of the track. If you have them on a single buss I would reduce them all by at least a couple of dB. Other than that, I'm at work so I can't give an eq assessment or talk about reverbs or anything. I'll do that when I get in tonight.


Incidentally, as the song goes into its last third the balances seem absolutely spot on, so I think you need to look at the first two thirds again.

[rayc]

David, Excellent! I quite like the drum level though the snare seems to be in need of having its rattle snaked.
Nice work with the Mellotron files.
Terrific lyric as always.
The Honey sound is all over it.

I did a lot of research into achieving THE sound when I used the wav files. If you have a sim then run the 'tron through a Fender Twin with the top end rolled off as well as some bottom end chopped PLUS LOTS of spring reverb.
Have a look on fb in a few minutes - I'll link you to a VERY cheap Hallmark Mosrite that's for sale.

[Armistice]

Thanks gents... all good points and I was vaguely aware of most of them - I knew the levels of various things were going to need a tweak but it's just a bit much at the moment - I need to step away and not listen to it for a bit - soooo many tracks! And yeah ray, I don't know how I ended up with a rattly snare - didn't start out that way, so I'll rein that in a bit too.

I'll let it sit until tomorrow evening after work and take it up again then.

[Armistice]

Aaaargh. Just had a listen on my phone and couldn't leave it like that for 24 hours. Guitars too high as Bubba said. Done a quick remix and overwrote the file. My conflicted listening environment bites again, although I'm sure if I'd actually done a bit of comparing with finished mixes - like I should do - then it would have been obvious.... but one likes to get one's children out into the world...

[Armistice]

New mix up with changes done at low volume and on headphones very early this morning... damn song robbing me of my sleep!

[Bubba]

It sounds really good, Armi. The only thing that's bothering me now is the snare. I think it could do with a touch more snap and a touch less wires. Perhaps a 2dB lift on the top mic and a similar cut on the bottom? I don't mind all the ghosting on the snare but I think that the main beat of the snare needs more emphasis than the ghosting in order to maintain a proper relationship with the down beat of the kick. I'm not au fait with exactly how your drum program works but an extra velocity level or two on the main snare beat would help, I think.

[Armistice]

It sounds really good, Armi. The only thing that's bothering me now is the snare. I think it could do with a touch more snap and a touch less wires. Perhaps a 2dB lift on the top mic and a similar cut on the bottom? I don't mind all the ghosting on the snare but I think that the main beat of the snare needs more emphasis than the ghosting in order to maintain a proper relationship with the down beat of the kick. I'm not au fait with exactly how your drum program works but an extra velocity level or two on the main snare beat would help, I think.

Thanks Bubba - yeah that's still annoying me a little too but I didn't think the neighbours would appreciate my pumping up the volume at 5am this morning, so I did a few tweaks that headed it in the right direction. The answer will have to do with the balance between the mics and overheads, I suspect - and I may have to go back into the patterns and lift the hits a bit. I'll have a go at it tonight.

[rayc]

GOOD CHANGES.

[TripleM]

The intro was interesting. I like the use of stereo with the keys.

Clean guitars sound very good.

Vocals sound good. Tone on the voice is very good.

Bass sounds pretty and it's at just about the right level.

Only one real complaint and that's with the drums. Especially the snare. It's really taking a back seat to everything else. I'd like a more upfront snare. Hats too.

[SweetDan]

New mix up with changes done at low volume and on headphones very early this morning... damn song robbing me of my sleep!

I listened to the earlier version before I started work today, and then the new(-er) mix this evening. Very nice. The one comment I would have made about the first version was that the lead vocal (and the background vocals to a lesser extent) felt like it should have been a bit more upfront in the mix. It's there now. Nice!

[Armistice]

OK - I've redone the drums with the new more assertive snare. Also removed about a million ghost hits and generally tried to make it conform a bit more section to section - sneaking suspicion the snare is now too bassy - I'm using two samples, one thuddier than the other - may have turned the thuddy one up and the snarier one down too much. You can tell me...

Still at the same place.

[TripleM]

I like the levels better.

The snare still isn't exactly like I'd personally like it. It's a little heavy to me. Maybe either a slight boost around 5-6K or a notch cut somewhere around 200hz. Minor personal preference.

I think it sounds really good as it is.

[Armistice]

I like the levels better.

The snare still isn't exactly like I'd personally like it. It's a little heavy to me. Maybe either a slight boost around 5-6K or a notch cut somewhere around 200hz. Minor personal preference.

I think it sounds really good as it is.

Thanks Trip. Agree on the snare, just wasn't quite sure what to do with it, so I'll try your suggestions!

[musicturtle]

Sorry Armistice, late to the listening here. Sounds really good to me. I really like the guitar solo. The whole thing has a Pink Floyd feel to it. I hope that's not an insult to you because I happen to love me some Floyd.

Good work.

[Bubba]

The snare changes have improved it, to my ear. Now it has more of the feel of the drum part on "Subterranean Homesick Alien" where the ghost notes and the main beat make a satisfying whole. It works particularly well on the coda.

[JD01]

Is the redone version back in the original post?

[Armistice]

Thanks guys - yes, there is only one version, back in the original post, due to the continued discrimination by Whiskey Jack against those of us who write longer tunes and like to render in 320K....

I haven't tried TripleM's snare EQ changes yet, BTW.

But here's a new link.... New link - same tune.... - to save you scrolling.

[Armistice]

OK - have implemented Trip's suggestions...