The Dismissal

[rayc]

David gave me some pointers about future directions encompassing structure, vocal recording and variation of chords per bar etc. for me to consider and, potentially, adopt.
I read and absorbed the information and I've tried to apply it to a project.
I can't play pretty sharp & flat chords so have opted to allow BIAB to do that for me.
This is a sample song to demonstrate that I listen and try most thing folks suggest I attempt.
Warning...soft voice - which holds/hits notes even less well than usual and musically this is more like the stuff I used to write in my teens, (in fact the lyrics come from 1980 or so).

The Dismissal.mp3

I've had another crack at it ...retracked vocals, extended the thing with an extra verse n chorus, recorded my own guitar and bass parts and added STRINGS to bury myself in.

The DismissalextABCD.mp3

Tidied up a little, brought the guitars forward, the st
rings back and punched a few holes in it for dynamics.

The DismissalextE.mp3

THIS'LL frighten you. TRUDY asked to sing this one...
Only a very preliminary mix...new solo in it too.

thedismissaTRUDIN2.mp3

[vomitHatSteve]

There are some kind of hiccups on some of the vocals (e.g. FFound around 1:11). Is that some kind of compressor kicking in and clipping something off? Or a standard plosive?

[Greg_L]

I like you doing some singing. This is a little rough, but you need to just keep plowing through it. As you get more comfortable with the phrasing, timing, cadence, etc, your voice will come out.

I'm not thrilled with the auto-music though. You need to get some bass and guitars on there. You can do it.

[musicturtle]

I with Greg on this [mention]rayc[/mention]

I like hearing you sing, keep at it. You will find what works for you.

I like the phrasing on this one better than some of your other stuff, the vocals stand on their own some more instead of just following the chords.

[rayc]

[mention]vomitHatSteve[/mention] , [mention]Greg_L[/mention] & [mention]musicturtle[/mention] ,
Yep, the vocals are REALLY rough - I only had one go at it as it's an awful song and a simple exercise in the things suggested.
Aren't the BIAB parts generic/anodyne/dreary? I could replace them I suppose, sometime.
Those noises are a combo of rough noise editing and compression...singing more quietly meant more level in the preamp and more noises picked up.
Thanks for the responses.

[TripleM]

I might back down the delay on the vocal just a bit.

The acoustic guitar sounds nice. So does the bass. So do the electrics - except there might be a string out of tune in one of the solos.

The first thing I noticed however, was the mix was very narrow. I don't know if there are things you can move out of the center or not. But it's narrow.

[rayc]

NEW VERSION in OP

[WhiskeyJack]

Don't murder me but this feels like a Pink Floyd jam. I didn't listen to a lot of Floyd but this kind sounds to me what i remember PF sounding like.

Wise choice adding in real instruments! a whole new song really. I think by and large this song is coming along. Vocals are much stronger in the third mix.

I like the back ground ohhhhs however you did those. Very feminine Ray. great job.

[rayc]

I like the back ground ohhhhs however you did those. Very feminine Ray. great job.

Thanks [mention]WhiskeyJack[/mention] , I suspect it's the oohs that give it a touch of the DSOTMoons.
The gospel vocals are edited BIAB along with the BIAB Celtic strings, drums and cello.
The main BIAB instruments were awful weren't they.
Not an huge PF fan...well, not after Meddle anyway, but it's interesting that in BIAB land it's been referred to a trippy and like Lennon on acid.
Personally I didn't hear it as psych/prog at all..but I was/am dealing with it in terms of experimenting with the things in the OP.
Ta.

[rayc]

I might back down the delay on the vocal just a bit.
The first thing I noticed however, was the mix was very narrow. I don't know if there are things you can move out of the center or not. But it's narrow.

Thanks TripleM,
There's no delay on the vocal but it may be overlapping takes that I hadn't, at that stage, dealt with.
Don't take my word for it though...I'm an outted mistruther on that sort of thing.
The out of tune strings you'll have to take up with BIAB, but there're plenty of errors in their RealTracks.
The narrowness is probably because it is essentially, in mono as it was early days in the process.

[JD01]

OK - I'm coming straight in at E, finally catching up with this section of the forum.
Don't mind the strings at all.
Think your voice sounds OK on this Ray, the main problem with it is the timing, it doesn't sound very rhythmic and some of the double tracking is a bit out.
The first thing I thought of was the last couple of tracks of Floyd's DSOTM.

[rayc]

OK - I'm coming straight in at E, finally catching up with this section of the forum.
Don't mind the strings at all.
Think your voice sounds OK on this Ray, the main problem with it is the timing, it doesn't sound very rhythmic and some of the double tracking is a bit out.
The first thing I thought of was the last couple of tracks of Floyd's DSOTM.

Thanks James.
I hadn't tightened the double tracking...as yet.
Def. not rhythmic but I have tidied that aspect somewhat with this mix.