Nah, Not A Bit - Pygmy Beat Up.

[rayc]

MARCHriffIaltgd.mp3

Hello Folks,
I've thrown on a draft vocal.

MARCHRIFFGgd.mp3

I read and applied suggestions from the folks in the comments...a little more top end on the guitars (they are mainly power chords so tend to be darker) and worked on the bottom end. No faux mastering this time. I also retracked the vocals.

MARCHriffHbc.mp3

Third mix with vocals. I've addressed the issues raised below but can't say if I've been successful.

MARCHriffIaltgd.mp3

4th mix - double tracked the verse vocal & did some tweaking here n there.

MARCHriffIaltgd.mp3

WELL, I tried to add melody and a) it was a rip off then b) it was barely hit any notes.
BIG Ig rip for one phrase at least.
Shouty seems to be the best I ca manage BUT it's drier -almost no reverb on the vocals.
I've not addressed spikes in level, sibilance etc on this run through.
This one's about whether or not the change to the phrasing and "melody" is beneficial before I put the work into tracking properly & such.
You tell me...

MARCHriffK.mp3

This is a bit of a Frankenstein's Monster of a vocal but I'm trying to find phrases ad "melodic" content that works. It can all be retracked properly I suppose when & where it's solid enough.

MARCHRIFFLagd.mp3

It was a one time attempt & only one pass for verses and one for choruses.
Some heavy fake tape drive no them as well...just trying to get it so that someone can listen and possibly offer to replace me.
The lyrics were written for a Variaxeman/Queepy song years back. They were just the one verse one bridge and one chorus so I tweaked them a bit to fill the spaces.
All observations and suggestions welcome.
Yes, it needs a solo - I tried but erased it.

I’ve got a car
I’ve got a gun
I’ve got a girl
Now I’m gonna get some fun
I don’t care about anyone

You couldn’t catch us if you tried
Can’t find our past because we lied
Can’t read our minds because they’re fried.
Hell, that won’t matter once we’ve died
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo
Not a bit

I’ll blow her mind
She’ll blow my mind
We’ll show the world
We’ll blow you all away
Don’t care what you say


You couldn’t catch us if you tried
Can’t find our past because we lied
Can’t read our minds because they’re fried.
Hell, that won’t matter once we’ve died
Nooooooooooooooooo
Nah, not a bit

Solo

I’ve got a car
I’ve got a gun
I’ve got a girl
Now I’m gonna get some fun
I don’t care about anyone

You couldn’t catch us if you tried
Can’t find our past because we lied
Can’t read our minds because they’re fried.
Hell, that won’t matter once we’ve died
Nooooooooooooooooo
Ha, not a bit

I’ve got a car
I’ve got a gun
I’ve got a girl
I’ve got a car
I’ve got a gun
I’ve got a girl

[liv_rong]

Cool song. Sounds a little dark to me, but that may be just because of the kick is a little woofy. I like the reverb on the drums and the generally character it lends to the song.

[TripleM]

Good energy. And a cool song.

I might pull back some of that low end from the bass. It's a little strong and boomy.

Guitars sound pretty good. They're just a bit muffled sounding. Like they need more 4k-6k - somewhere in there.

[rayc]

[mention]liv_rong[/mention] & [mention]TripleM[/mention],
I've added some top end to the guitars and addressed the bottom end , mainly the bass as suggested.
I've also added some whacky lead lines to fill the gaps temporarily.
Mix in the OP

[JD01]

Who's playing lead on this - was a bit unexpected but I think its pretty good - is that BIAB?
The kick is a bit boomy - but then I think you like that sort of thing.
The bass is has a clackiness to it which could do with being reduced.

Most importantly, this is good song though ray.

[rayc]

Who's playing lead on this - was a bit unexpected but I think its pretty good - is that BIAB?
The kick is a bit boomy - but then I think you like that sort of thing.
The bass is has a clackiness to it which could do with being reduced.
Most importantly, this is good song though ray.

James,
Yeah it's "funk wah" from BIAB playing at a tempo it doesn't like...it was as close to Robert Quine as I could get in that box.
It's just a space holder.
Yeah, I addressed the bass boom but wanted to wait for fresh ears and comments about the drums.
The bass became clacky after I removed a pile of bottom end. I'm exploring options.
Thanks.

[vomitHatSteve]

Jumped to the second mix. Still sounds a little dark. A lot of that may be the buried vocals tho.

[WhiskeyJack]

LOL!! I was like Holy FUCK! Listen to [mention]rayc[/mention] give that wah pedal a good what for. much to my disappointment it was just BiaB.

Um, second mix is dark as VHS stated and i find it to be a subtly pumpy ray? Anyone else hear the pumping thing on the second mix?

[TripleM]

On the second mix, I think VHS has it. It's a bit dark sounding. But if it had an upfront vocal, it'd be better. I still think you could get more presence in the guitar and get away with it.

Low end seems to be sitting better. I still think there is a low-end rumble that could be reduced a bit. But it's sounding better than mix #1.

[heatmiser]

Hey ray - I went straight to mix 2. Guitars sound pretty cool to me. Kick and bass are coming across a bit rumbly through my phones, but not too bad...mostly the kick I think? Overall a bit dark, yes, but not unpleasantly so.

Did Queepy ever use the lyrics? Maybe it's just 'cause you mentioned him, but I could totally hear him doing this tune.

[rayc]

Hey ray - I went straight to mix 2. Guitars sound pretty cool to me. Kick and bass are coming across a bit rumbly through my phones, but not too bad...mostly the kick I think? Overall a bit dark, yes, but not unpleasantly so.

Did Queepy ever use the lyrics? Maybe it's just 'cause you mentioned him, but I could totally hear him doing this tune.

Yeah, he did [mention]heatmiser[/mention],
A couple of moths ago re used te music for a different set of lyrics with his band so I figured that freed me to rework them and reuses them.
Here's the one he did - I REALLY love it...

Komodor Cabbage Rides Again.mp3

I'm considering asking him to contribute to my version.

[rayc]

Who's playing lead on this - was a bit unexpected but I think its pretty good - is that BIAB?
The kick is a bit boomy - but then I think you like that sort of thing.
The bass is has a clackiness to it which could do with being reduced.

Most importantly, this is good song though ray.

@J[mention]JD01[/mention] ,
James do you want to have a crack at a some lead at the beginning and end as well as a solo over the eight in the middle?

[JD01]

Who's playing lead on this - was a bit unexpected but I think its pretty good - is that BIAB?
The kick is a bit boomy - but then I think you like that sort of thing.
The bass is has a clackiness to it which could do with being reduced.

Most importantly, this is good song though ray.

@J@JD01 ,
James do you want to have a crack at a some lead at the beginning and end as well as a solo over the eight in the middle?

I'll say yes, but I have a couple of things already to do at the moment so I might be a few weeks getting onto this.

[rayc]

@J@JD01 ,
James do you want to have a crack at a some lead at the beginning and end as well as a solo over the eight in the middle?

I'll say yes, but I have a couple of things already to do at the moment so I might be a few weeks getting onto this.

That's fine - it's not going anywhere. CeeBee wanted to do some guitar but that was a couple of weeks ago & he said not to be surprised if he didn't produce.

[rayc]

Updated the mix with double tracking - STILL need to address some of the uber aggressive phrase starts.
[mention]Greg_L[/mention],
Any suggestions re the mix - ignore the guitar solos as they're BIAB fill ins - and tracks?

[Greg_L]

Updated the mix with double tracking - STILL need to address some of the uber aggressive phrase starts.
@Greg_L,
Any suggestions re the mix - ignore the guitar solos as they're BIAB fill ins - and tracks?

I like it. I think there's too much effect on the vocal. Too echoey, roomy, reverby, whatever it is. I'd like it dried up some. I think some of the vocal phrasing could be timed to fit better, and it could stand to have some melody in it somewhere. I like barking talking vocals, but some hint of melody would be good IMO. The rest seems pretty good. Good guitar sound for the song. Drums and bass seem fine. The solos are poop, but I get it, they're BIAB. No problem. Good progress so far.

[Armistice]

Jeez this reminds me of something - stylewise - something New York-ish, 70s new wave era, but can't put my finger on who. Maybe Verlaine on some of his more obscure songs in terms of delivery, not so much the music.

I think you should retrack the vocals again, pay a bit more attention to the timing of various phrases and dry them out. In particular the "Nooooo"s are probably the bits I like least, but everything else isn't too bad at all.

Yeah, the leads, but someone will do you something better, I'm sure. Not sure wah guitar "works" on this style of tune.

[rayc]

[mention]Greg_L[/mention],
Thhnaks, I used some delay etc on the NOOOOs and a touch of reverb on the vocal bus so I'll dry them.
Phrasig I can work on...but melody? Me? I actually ran ReaTune over a verse to suss if I could tweak it to make some melody and the results were amazing: I didn't hit a single note.
The solo is just a laugh and as close as I could get to Robert Quine in BIAB- played at the wrong tempo to make it manic. Ta.
[mention]Armistice[/mention] ,
Ta, I does seem a little similar to the Verlain/Hell era with hell on vocals.
Phrasing & retracking I can work on.
I'll keep chooglin'.

[TripleM]

Guitars are sounding real good in mix #4. So is the bass.

Vocals are very buried. They have much more reverb/delay/etc. than the other tracks.

It's getting better.

[Bubba]

Hi Ray

I have to echo (!) what Greg says about the reverb on this. The track sounds very murky, as if it's coming from the other end of a subway tunnel. I do like the sound of the guitars on this though - they're great.

It has a lot of that early 70s New York punk vibe. I think what may be sparking some recognition in Armistice is the Stooges' "Now I wanna be your Dog". The vocal phrasing is reminiscent of that.

Who did what on this, Ray?