Darksun - the much orphaned song.

[rayc]

This song has been around since 2011.
It features Ido1957 on guitar solos and Greg on tub thumping.
I've inflicted it upon you folk before.
Joe Mizzi was going to sing it but then declined, Supercreep was going to sing it but the mere thought of it caused him to disappear.
The chap who sang the last track I posted attempted to sing it but it damaged his voice.
I've sung it, well sung is rather a stretch. Shall I offer that I croaked it out and then used every trick in the book to try to make it passable with debatable results? I resorted to distorting my vocal track in an effort to a) disguise it and b) give it a little life.
I've added new guitars, worked on the vocal and don't think I can do much more.
I THINK I can probably get by with my verses but the chorus needs a real voice.
C'est l'guerre.
It is what it is:
Nothing on the stereo bus - this is just a mix.

darksunrejigged160719.mp3

Thoughts, suggestions etc. are most welcome.
Here's a remix after comping the verse vocals - taking the better parts of each to make just the one - no doubling/chorus as a result. The Chorus is a bit tidier as well. Both have a Motown Exciter track, (cloned track massively compressed, bottom end cut heavily & HEAPS of top end added - this is blended in to the main track JUST enough to add some shine), but, as there are no temporal changes it shouldn't blurr.
Guitars reduced a bit as suggested.
Again, nothing on the stereo bus

Darksun voc fix.mp3

Here's a mix after some tidying up of the vocals. I've brought them up front to make the problem apparent - I need something that can add some character, particularly to the chorus, without muffling them again. All that's on them at present is a fattener delay, a TINY smidge of reverb and compression. Oh, I high passed at 100Hz on the chorus vox.

ds230719gd.mp3

This is about as far as I can take the vocal. Closer treatment will produce artefacts and blurriness. There're a couple of Autotune type sounds in this that are actually my poor voice doing almost pubescent flickering.
I've added a little backing vocal part that seems to take some scrutiny away from the main. It's a part generated in BIAB based on my vocal track which, as you're aware is only approximate. It's a little weird when soloed but fills in the gap/adds to texture.
I tweaked the kick and dropped the reverb a LOT. I've also toyed with the snare to get it to stand forward a bit.

DS250719.mp3

I've read, Greg n Tad's responses and have endeavoured to address their concerns:kick less up front, intro solo too loud, vox needed an EQ bump to bring them forward. I've also addressed the reverb as mentioned by James and the the reverb on the solo as well.

DS250719C.mp3

Here's a slight update - more tweaking of bvox, bass & relative gtr : rhythm section levels.

DS050819C.mp3

Any ideas?
Dark Sun Rising

With Justice blinded,
Greed is reminded,
That might is right,
And will have its way,
The weak, the passive
Can’t hope to outlive,
Lawlessness their plight,
Yet they obey.

A dark sun rising,
For an accounting,
Of meek molested
And put away,
Of good forsaken,
Their faith hard shaken,
Too late the cure for
Blood flows this day.

For those unable,
Take heart in fable,
Those who can and
Of Those who will
Do right through wrong means,
Life intervenes,
Someone must and
Dark blood they’ll spill.

A dark sun rising
Unappetising
So few take up its
Burden of woe
No recognition
Just life’s contrition
For those who can and
For those who know

Not restitution,
Nor retribution,
Simple balance,
Resets the scale.
Sometimes two wrongs can,
Redress the wronged man.
Not turn time back,
Some Fates can dovetail.

A dark sun rising,
For an accounting,
Of meek molested
And put away,
Of good forsaken,
Their faith hard shaken,
Too late the cure for
Blood flows this day.

Out from the shadows,
As waxing moon grows,
Silent foot falls
Upon the path
Some forms of justice
The antithesis
Absorbing life in
The aftermath

A dark sun rising
Feint heart reviving
The pain of life
Akin to death
It casts a shadow
Straight as an arrow
Marks the target and
Steals, from it, breath

A dark sun rising,
Unappetising
Too late the cure for it
Steals, from them, breath.

[vomitHatSteve]

I know you're trying to bury the vocals a little, but I think you've gone too far, or maybe not far enough. They're sticking out of the mix like vocals normally do but not enough to be clear

[rayc]

I know you're trying to bury the vocals a little, but I think you've gone too far, or maybe not far enough. They're sticking out of the mix like vocals normally do but not enough to be clear

Yep, I can hear that.
I did double track - for real doubletrack - vocals but they seem to be giving that blurred chorus effect.
I'll split 'em up and comp the best.

[Greg_L]

Your vocals seem good. I don't know why you run away from doing them. You can do it!

The doubling and processing makes them weird and unintelligible. The rest of the mix seems pretty decent to me. The kick is hitting the reverb a little hard. Other than that just clean up the vocals.

[rayc]

Your vocals seem good. I don't know why you run away from doing them. You can do it!
The doubling and processing makes them weird and unintelligible. The rest of the mix seems pretty decent to me. The kick is hitting the reverb a little hard. Other than that just clean up the vocals.

Thanks Greg,
I boosted the kick pretty heavily which is why it's triggering more reverb. I wanted to play around with that chest hit feel but it doesn't really translate in a recording so will address the kick and reverb accordingly.
I'll deal with the vocals and reverb sometime in the next day or so.
Ta.

[TripleM]

The vocal is indeed buried, but it doesn't sound too bad. I'd bring the overall up. But maybe lower one of the doubled tracks to make it a little more intelligible.

I think the overall tone of things sound real good. Maybe lower the guitar level. That, combined with raising the vocal, would I think put things in better balance.

I really like that bass part. Supports the song very well.

[rayc]

The vocal is indeed buried, but it doesn't sound too bad. I'd bring the overall up. But maybe lower one of the doubled tracks to make it a little more intelligible.
I think the overall tone of things sound real good. Maybe lower the guitar level. That, combined with raising the vocal, would I think put things in better balance.
I really like that bass part. Supports the song very well.

Thanks MMM, I'll sort that out tomorrow - had guests for the day so wasn't able to tweak.
The bass part gave me grief for yonks simply because my mind kept fighting with myself about what was appropriate under the Am to Asus2.
I still worry about it but can ignore it most of the time.

[TripleM]

what was appropriate under the Am to Asus2.

The part worked well through that change.

[WhiskeyJack]

ray the vocal performance itself has nothing wrong with it. I think it is little bit buried in there. At work on the earbuds. I'll give it a critical listen tonight. I can for sure echo gregs comment re: the kick drum verb. It's verby.

More to follow.

[rayc]

Mix tweaked on suggestions is in the OP.

[musicturtle]

I like it [mention]rayc[/mention]. Your voice fits this one quite well. Mix is good.

[JD01]

I'm listening to Mix 2, Ray. I think the whole thing is pretty tidy actually.
I can't pick out anything in particular in the mix. The whole thing is a bit reverby for me, but then you like it like that.

Could it do with a better singer, sure. But then nearly everything this side of Queen could do with a better singer. Your voice does kinda suit the slightly Joy Division sound. With more practice you'll only get better too.

[rayc]

I like it @rayc. Your voice fits this one quite well. Mix is good.

Thanks Tony - I'll try to tweak away the slightly drain pipe feel of the vocal and then be, almost done.

[rayc]

I'm listening to Mix 2, Ray. I think the whole thing is pretty tidy actually.
I can't pick out anything in particular in the mix. The whole thing is a bit reverby for me, but then you like it like that.

Could it do with a better singer, sure. But then nearly everything this side of Queen could do with a better singer. Your voice does kinda suit the slightly Joy Division sound. With more practice you'll only get better too.

I'll look into the reverb James.
My biggest problem with this is that it was ear marked, long, long ago, for Joey M and he has an amazing voice. I keep hearing what it may have sounded like with him and then I have me.
I'll try to treat it with Curtis (y) and get it finished.

[TripleM]

I think the second mix is sounding real good. I definitely like the low end better in that mix. I like the tone on everything.

Vocal is still a little buried.

Reverb is a little heavy for me. The lead/riff guitar in the intro is really reverb-y.

Overall it's really good.

[rayc]

Thanks TripleM. I've worked on the vocals and will dry the solos tomorrow.

[rayc]

[mention]Greg_L[/mention]
Greg, how're the snare & kick in this mix?
Any suggestions regarding the kit?

[Greg_L]

@Greg_L
Greg, how're the snare & kick in this mix?
Any suggestions regarding the kit?

I think the drums sound pretty good now overall. The kick's hit on the reverb seems better, but I think you could also drop the kick into the mix a little more. It's way out front.

[Tadpui]

Cool song, Ray!

I love the intro solo guitar. Very "Breaking Glass". I think it's too loud though. Guitar in the solo seems just about right, volume-wise.

Vocal does seem a little buried. Maybe even just a little mid and mid-hi frequency boost would help it come to the front a bit. I'd say just sit them a little louder and prouder in the mix. Maybe I just got used to it, but the vocals didn't seem quite as buried later in the song.

Guitar tones all sound good to me. A little dark overall, but nice playing and good tones in various saturation levels.

I've had (and continue to have) mixes that are kinda dark like this. I've tried lately to come back to the mix fresh, and simply turn down my monitoring volume and try to tweak the mix at lower volumes. Pretty much anything sounds exciting when its loud, but I've found that I learn a lot about my mixes when listening to them at lower volumes with fresh ears. Don't be afraid to goose the hids or highs on a few elements of the mix to give it a little life.
I'm a pretty sucky mixer that's prone to bad judgement, so take that with a grain of salt.

[rayc]

Thanks Greg and thanks Tadpui,
I've written about the changes in the OP with the updated mix.
Oh, I also added a little hi shelf on the stereo bus - that's all there is on the stereo out at present so no faux mastering etc.
The "darkness" in the guitars was due, largely, to some EQing I did to reduce some unpleasant break up top end.
Yeah, I did this mix a relatively low volume.
THANKS.