Apocalypse Girl (or Apoklypz Grrl)

[rayc]

This was my punk inflected Flamin' Groovies inspired song. i've written four different sets of lyrics for it and FINALLY settled on something that wasn't TOO POMPOUS or too abstract.
FINISHED & MASTERED
1st mix on new monitors.

_MST Apocolypse Girl.mp3

Nothing on the stereo/master bus.
Mostly Amp In A Box tones as this was done while under siege.
The main vocals are mine, (comped from three useable takes), with very occasional & fairly minor drift adjustments. The harmonies use the left overs from the comping and are altered with Melodyne. I threw in one little bit of an octave UP in REAPITCH to emphasize the 1st six syllables of the chorus.
There's a stupid spelling section to begin the third chorus which I would happily dump but is there becasue it's there at present.
thoughts, suggestions, comments or slaggings as necessary are joyfully anticipated.

Apocalypse Girl.mp3

Mix 2
Sheraton II through Marshall replaces the basic power chord rhythm gtrs.

Here's the same as Mix 2 but with the tuned harmony parts etc. muted...

[JD01]

Good song, Ray. I like all the weird shit at 2:30ish.
The main thing I think would benefit from is a better guitar sound, its very scratchy/crunchy.

[vomitHatSteve]

"grrrl" is spelled with 3 rs

I like the bass tone here.

I'm not super-excited about the vocal delivery as a "punk" vibe. It has enough tuning to not have the gritty energy of conventional punk, but the rest of the mix doesn't have enough experimental wierdness or trap influences to sound like hyperpop or any of what the modern equivalents of punk are.
hyperpop reference (this song in particular sucks and is a failed hail-mary marketing attempt, but it does more explicitly incorporate punk elements into the genre)

I like the drop-off after the first verse (or pre-chorus?)

Do you have claps complementing the snare throughout the whole chorus?

[TripleM]

Distorted guitars sound real good. Good grit on them. Clean guitars sound good too. I like the bass tone.

I think the bass could come up a bit.

The snare sounds distant/muffled. The hats sound a little sizzly. The kick is just a bit loud.

Vocal performance is good. I might bring up the level just a bit and back off the reverb/delay/whatever effects just a little.

[rayc]

@JD01 ,
Thanks, there's a new mix with the main rhythm guitars replaced. I tried for a less "scratchy" tone and had to pull out my Sheraton II...it was/is a bit the opposite but it might work.
@vomitHatSteve ,
Thanks, the "punk" reference was in the past tense as the song moved on. Hand claps are through the choruses from the pick up of guitars on the snare and in between.
@TripleM ,
I've just come up stairs from tweaking so will address you concerns with the next one...#3. It's a stereo drum track so I can only do broad things but will try.

[rayc]

Done n dusted

[JD01]

Which is the final one?

[rayc]

Top of the stack labelled MST

[JD01]

Nice one, Ray.

[TripleM]

Sounding good.

[WhiskeyJack]

Sorry i missed this growth of this one but i am coming in on the last mix and i got nothing ray. I can hear everything pretty clear. all the parts and pieces are there. I feel like the vocals could come up a bit to be more forward facing.

Love the feedback ending. Perfect.