The Sham Wow Guy
The Sham Wow Guy
Maybe the only song in existence about the guy from the Sham Wow commercial? I don't remember how I got the idea to write a song about him, but whatever.
Sham Wow Guy
Oh my my
I was your favorite commercial guy
I was the king of kings
At hyperactively selling things
Yeah just put me on camera
I make things matter
That's what this hombre brings
My haircut was cool
Way way before it was cool
So cool, I rule
A pop culture hidden jewel
But I preach to the crowd
And it's never too loud
It's clear here I'm not a fool
Yeah my sideshow was transformative
But there's so much more that I can give
It's just the past is super hard to re-live
I know
CHORUS
But you see I sell with style, I magnify
Half a minute of life has just gone by
So take it on faith and don't ask why
You're the General Public, I'm the Sham Wow Guy
Don't breathe - don't blink
I talk faster than you can think
My TV contract stinks
Language as dry as the ink
But it's here for today
And you know what they say
About any chain's weakest link
Cheap chamois are a breeze
Call in the next ten minutes please
Money flows... with ease
Process and handling fees
The conversation turns
To where everyone learns
That worthless words are the keys
Anyone could have a job like me
If you can muster fake sincerity
See, the truth has got to take a knee
sometimes
CHORUS
BRIDGE
I die with each public defeat
But my team responds to every Tweet
Any measure says this is bittersweet... I know
I sell... fact free
A little shaky honesty
It's all about you, not me
Textbook psychiatry
I hung around at a free
University
Eight credits short of my degree
I rig... the game
It's up to you where to place the blame
Delivery is... the same
It lands with flawless aim
And I threaded the line
Each and every time
Way back when I had fame
I try to form your every thought
It makes a much more interesting plot
I might be overthinking this, but I'm not
CHORUS
ALT CHORUS
I magnify, I sell with style
Crushing sales records, mile by mile
Sticking to my story all the while
You're the general public, I'm the Sham Wow Guy
CHORUS
Mix #1 Mix #2
Sham Wow Guy
Oh my my
I was your favorite commercial guy
I was the king of kings
At hyperactively selling things
Yeah just put me on camera
I make things matter
That's what this hombre brings
My haircut was cool
Way way before it was cool
So cool, I rule
A pop culture hidden jewel
But I preach to the crowd
And it's never too loud
It's clear here I'm not a fool
Yeah my sideshow was transformative
But there's so much more that I can give
It's just the past is super hard to re-live
I know
CHORUS
But you see I sell with style, I magnify
Half a minute of life has just gone by
So take it on faith and don't ask why
You're the General Public, I'm the Sham Wow Guy
Don't breathe - don't blink
I talk faster than you can think
My TV contract stinks
Language as dry as the ink
But it's here for today
And you know what they say
About any chain's weakest link
Cheap chamois are a breeze
Call in the next ten minutes please
Money flows... with ease
Process and handling fees
The conversation turns
To where everyone learns
That worthless words are the keys
Anyone could have a job like me
If you can muster fake sincerity
See, the truth has got to take a knee
sometimes
CHORUS
BRIDGE
I die with each public defeat
But my team responds to every Tweet
Any measure says this is bittersweet... I know
I sell... fact free
A little shaky honesty
It's all about you, not me
Textbook psychiatry
I hung around at a free
University
Eight credits short of my degree
I rig... the game
It's up to you where to place the blame
Delivery is... the same
It lands with flawless aim
And I threaded the line
Each and every time
Way back when I had fame
I try to form your every thought
It makes a much more interesting plot
I might be overthinking this, but I'm not
CHORUS
ALT CHORUS
I magnify, I sell with style
Crushing sales records, mile by mile
Sticking to my story all the while
You're the general public, I'm the Sham Wow Guy
CHORUS
Mix #1 Mix #2
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Last edited by TripleM on Fri Jun 10, 2022 4:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
I had no idea who the Sham Wow Guy was so I had to google him.
I reckon that guy could probably sell people The Black Death and make it sound like a good idea!
Great song Trip. I really enjoyed it.

Great song Trip. I really enjoyed it.

Re: The Sham Wow Guy
Nice work Triple... like the other non-Americans, I have zero idea who the Sham Wow guy is, but I did some googling to learn myself.
Good stuff going with the harmonies in particular!

Good stuff going with the harmonies in particular!
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
He was all over Sydney commercial TV for about a year...I could desrcibe his face and the dunking of the rolled "chamois" into a container of water even now.
Cheers
rayc
rayc
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
Nice song, MMM.
The vocals are great as usual, guitars sound good on this too.
The kick and snare (drums in general) are a bit dry and boxy.
The bass playing is really tight, but its pretty indistinct in the mix - you might be able to bring it up a little bit a bit of EQ sculpting to fit it in wouldn't hurt.
The vocals are great as usual, guitars sound good on this too.
The kick and snare (drums in general) are a bit dry and boxy.
The bass playing is really tight, but its pretty indistinct in the mix - you might be able to bring it up a little bit a bit of EQ sculpting to fit it in wouldn't hurt.
- vomitHatSteve
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Re: The Sham Wow Guy
That's pretty good.
My big critique I'm noticing is that the center feels a little empty, especially in the verses. How far out do you have the guitars panned?
My big critique I'm noticing is that the center feels a little empty, especially in the verses. How far out do you have the guitars panned?
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
@Mr Clean - thanks for the listen and i'm glad you liked it.
@rayc - thanks ray!!
@Armistice - I forgot that he was a primary-US thing. But via YouTube, he's global.
@JD01 - let me take a listen to the drums and bass. Actually, clearing up the boxiness from the drums might help clarify the bass.
@vomitHatSteve - thanks VHS. I know the doubled guitars in the first verse and all choruses are 100% L and R. The palm muted guitar in the 2nd and 3rd verses might be 80% R or so. I'll put up a second mix and bring them in, just to see what it sounds like. But I might move them back out - we'll see.
@rayc - thanks ray!!
@Armistice - I forgot that he was a primary-US thing. But via YouTube, he's global.

@JD01 - let me take a listen to the drums and bass. Actually, clearing up the boxiness from the drums might help clarify the bass.
@vomitHatSteve - thanks VHS. I know the doubled guitars in the first verse and all choruses are 100% L and R. The palm muted guitar in the 2nd and 3rd verses might be 80% R or so. I'll put up a second mix and bring them in, just to see what it sounds like. But I might move them back out - we'll see.
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
Mix #2 at the top.
- The biggest change was to the bass. I EQ'd some of the mud and low end out. I compressed it harder. It should sound better articulated
- I didn't think the drums were super-boxy, but I took some stuff out of the snare in the 500hz range and boosted the top end a little more
- I moved the guitars in from 100% L/R to 80% L/R. I didn't think I'd like it, but I did.
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
Where is the verse about him assaulting a prostitute?
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
I'm sure. The guys seems very low key and level headed.
- WhiskeyJack
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Re: The Sham Wow Guy
hahaha!!! this one slipped off my radar as did a lot of threads i am seeing.
Hilarious. I really didn't love this guy. He reminded me of that little toe fungus creature you see in those other ads for for foot fungus cream. Or a Boglin for those that remember boglins lolo!
Coming in hot on the 2nd mix. It sounds awesome man. I A/B'd with the first cause i couldn't find anything and wow. What a big difference. For the better. Love the guits moved in a bit too!! that really breathes new life into it hey!!!
Good one Trip!!
Did you do any kind of clean up on the sound bytes? I feel like if a guy wanted to, they could polish those a little better to sit in a bit more nicely and little less wooly. A rainy day chore if anything.
Hilarious. I really didn't love this guy. He reminded me of that little toe fungus creature you see in those other ads for for foot fungus cream. Or a Boglin for those that remember boglins lolo!
Coming in hot on the 2nd mix. It sounds awesome man. I A/B'd with the first cause i couldn't find anything and wow. What a big difference. For the better. Love the guits moved in a bit too!! that really breathes new life into it hey!!!
Good one Trip!!
Did you do any kind of clean up on the sound bytes? I feel like if a guy wanted to, they could polish those a little better to sit in a bit more nicely and little less wooly. A rainy day chore if anything.

- vomitHatSteve
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Re: The Sham Wow Guy
Right. I still need to check out the second mix. Remind me to revisit this after my meeting.
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
@WhiskeyJack thanks for listening. Glad you liked it. I didn't do any cleanup on the sound bytes. Just stole them from YouTube and stuck them in. I've never tried cleanup like that before. I'm not sure where I'd start.
- WhiskeyJack
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Re: The Sham Wow Guy
Reminder.vomitHatSteve wrote: ↑Wed Jun 15, 2022 4:55 pm Right. I still need to check out the second mix. Remind me to revisit this after my meeting.
As requested.

- vomitHatSteve
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Re: The Sham Wow Guy
Thank you muchWhiskeyJack wrote: ↑Thu Jun 16, 2022 2:41 amReminder.vomitHatSteve wrote: ↑Wed Jun 15, 2022 4:55 pm Right. I still need to check out the second mix. Remind me to revisit this after my meeting.
As requested.
The difference in mix 2 is subtle, but I think panning the guitars in did help
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
Thanks for the 2nd listen @vomitHatSteve. I really liked the effect of narrowing the guitars. Thanks for the advice.
It's about time to post it on SoundCloud. I'm wondering if they catch copyright violations. Guess I'll find out.
It's about time to post it on SoundCloud. I'm wondering if they catch copyright violations. Guess I'll find out.
Re: The Sham Wow Guy
they will if you mention it so don't
A very good song dude and nice recording ..... I like the little guitar bits on the left a lot and vocals are great with great lyrics ..... nice!

A very good song dude and nice recording ..... I like the little guitar bits on the left a lot and vocals are great with great lyrics ..... nice!

Re: The Sham Wow Guy
Thanks Lt. I'll keep quiet on SoundCloud, where the song will get exactly 0 listens anyway. 
