ANOTHER RIP OFF?

[rayc]

Hello Folks,
I'm sitting in the relative darkness of the house with all shutters down, incandecants off and only screens for light as it's rather hot. Hot enough to sit and watch the cricket where they are playing in the middle of the field for the full 2nd day of a five day of the match and it's 35C where they are standing - cooler than further south or west though. Penrith, a satellite city of Sydney is about forty miles south west of the cricket and it was officially 48.9C today there.
A chord progression popped into my head a couple of days ago so I added a change and did an amp in a box demo (Brownie on one side ACTone on the other - Fuzz up the middle).
My concern is whether or not I've nicked a significant amount of it from elsewhere.
The intro is dead simple followed by the "chorus" which is a descending prog that goes from F to G eventually.
The verse is Bb and F mainly.
ORIGINAL

JAN2020draft2.mp3

The Chorus begins rather like Oh You Pretty Things by CooknJones.
I retracked the draft today - shorter version and a slight change to the "chorus".
I retracked the retrack today using my Marshall amp.
Timing's an issue mainly becasue I cramp easily when playing power chords. I'll have to rehearse some more - I've not retracked the bass this time but it needs it.
I did some accent tracks as well as the rhythm.

JAN2020SHORTMARSHALL.mp3

Thanks in anticipation.

I retracked the bass and THINK I tightened the rhythm..

JAN2020s4bBgd.mp3

[vomitHatSteve]

There's only so many chords. No obvious rip off is leaping to my ears.

Did you do the modulation in software or play it that way? As is, it kind of sounds like you pitch shifted the mixed track and everything went off key. (especially the bass)

[rayc]

There's only so many chords. No obvious rip off is leaping to my ears.
Did you do the modulation in software or play it that way? As is, it kind of sounds like you pitch shifted the mixed track and everything went off key. (especially the bass)

As it was only an exp. I used Reapitch to shift all but the drums a semitone - I noted that it's not particularly accurate - that's odd but of no great concern becasue I'll be retracking properly.
I also think I'll halve the choruses - too long.
Thanks.

[TripleM]

I don't think you've ripped anything off. Has that progression ever been done in that *exact*cadence? Maybe. But it doesn't ring any bells with me. The song could still go in numerous directions from this point. So I don't think you need to worry.

[liv_rong]

Doesn’t sound like anything I know. Look forward to hearing what happens with it.

[musicturtle]

Nope haven't heard it before either.

Like what you got started here though.

[WhiskeyJack]

Doesn't sound like anything i have ever heard before Ray.

[Greg_L]

Doesn't sound familiar to me. Don't worry about it, just finish it.

[rayc]

Ta folks...I'll run with the short version and see what I come up with.

[rayc]

There's a new version with decent amp in the OP if you're interested.

[JD01]

The only thing this sounds like a rip off of is a Ray C tune.
This mix generally sounds alright, Ray.

One weirdo in this, the snare sounds really distant (like you've plonked it down a well) is this how you normally do your snare?

Good tune though, just needs a good hook... if I were you I'd speed it up a bit to give it a bit more energy.